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“The choice to say yes or no or maybe is the healing, that choice is the work, that choice is the connection, that choice is the liberation, so it’s not about the doing, it’s about the choosing” -Kai Cheng Thom

Things You Are Allowed To Say To Your Therapist

I need to pause. That is not the language I would use. I feel disappointed. I feel misunderstood. That is not how I learn/process information… I disagree. That does not feel accessible to me. My body can’t do that…. I need…. My boundary is…. I feel uncomfortable. I feel overwhelmed. I am not ready to share that yet. I don’t want to talk about that. I want to talk about something else. I would like to explore (this thing) more. I want to end this session. That is not accurate or true to my experience. My experience is…. Something you said is bothering me and I would like to talk about it. I don’t feel like we addressed (this thing), I would like to do that. That skill you taught me isn’t helpful. I would like to try something different. Please explain your process so I can better understand. What you said impacted me, this is how… That…./Your….(action/behavior/modality/language/belief) is … (racist, ableist, heteronormative, transphobic, classist, anti-Black, anti-Indigenous, settler-colonial mentality, Euro-centric, antisemitic, fat-phobic, human-centric) I don’t understand. I don’t feel like we are a good fit. I have decided to work with someone else.